I got a call from a Canadian booker I’ve worked with for years. They’re hiring for a benefit for a women’s shelter on October 9th  and since there are only six female comics in Canada they asked for me and for another recommendation. As with all corporate jobs, before they ask how much money you want, or how much they’re willing to pay, they emphasize that you have to be clean. They always add in the adjective “Squeaky” which always makes me want to ask, “As in Fromme?” Which always reminds me of my big mouth and the unemployment office.

The gig pays a lot and as I sat trying to figure out how many clean female comics I knew, I came up with two and one was a guess. Much like free concert tickets on a radio giveaway, the first one to call me got the gig.

When I started doing standup I was considered a dirty comic although I didn’t think I was. Adding the F word wasn’t what I thought made a comedian dirty. There were word substitutions for body parts that I didn’t say. Comedian Angela Scott once told me that I was a dichotomy. My blond hair and little dresses made me look like the girl next door. Then I opened my mouth. The problem with being dirty is that you have a short shelf life as a comedian. As you age, which mercifully I am NOT, your options run to cruise ships, corporate jobs and special events. All clean venues. As in many jobs, there are pesky newbies working for cheap and comedy clubs use them to save money. I’ve worked for 24 years. Nowadays if comics can get 10 years of work, it’s a miracle. Life is just moving too fast although I prefer to think I’m just THAT FUNNY.

So imagine my surprise when I moved to LA and discovered other women in my sub-species. It was like finding George Clooney hiding under my covers. (Which could happen so just shut it).

The Raunchiest Women of Comedy stars four women I know. I started with Carole Montgomery in New York. Sheila Kay and I had the same agent here in LA and I knew Felicia Michaels because she and the MC of this event, Andrea Abbate, were at the LA clubs with me. I listened to their CD over the weekend and someone needs to have a wedding shower and play this for their drunken friends. The only joke I can quote here is one of Sheila’s, “Men like to do it doggy style because they need someplace to put their beer while they watch the game.” There is some very funny shit on this album.

My mother, a French woman who is all things annoying just by virtue of being French, used to howl at Sheila whenever we played the Improv. I once asked her if she didn’t think Sheila was too dirty and Mom said, “Yes, but zhat eez what makes ‘er so fun’ny.”

Ahhhhhh, zeeee French.

So tell me, does it bother you to see a dirty male or female comic?

CYA this Friday.

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